The Making of a Great Spouse

The Making of a Great Spouse

The creator of a thing knows what it was designed to do. The late Dr Myles Monroe spoke about the use and abuse of a thing. The person who designed a pair of pliers knew exactly what it was meant to do. Now some of us when we don’t have a hammer, use the pliers as a hammer. I am guilty of doing this as well. The pliers still work but that is not what it was designed to do. This is abuse of the pliers. I could say the same thing about sex it was meant to be practiced within the confines of marriage but can still be practiced outside of it, which is abuse. Please note that the manufacturer’s guarantee and protection can only be effective within the confines of the correct use of the product but I digress.

To define a great spouse, we must first seek to understand the institution they are meant to function in. Marriage is the first institution ever created since the beginning of time. The creator of a thing has the full understanding of the thing. The creator of the institution of marriage and its players, is God. I remember 9 years ago a friend of mine who is married said, “I don’t know how guys do marriage without God.” I believe God speaks to anyone but only few are submitted under his voice.

Writing about marriage has always been hard for me because I have not finished the journey, I am still at the beginning of the journey. Since I don’t know much, I ask the one who created the whole thing and me included. Let’s start with the man.

The bible says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her”. That statement speaks for itself. The word love here is not the one that the world has divided into types. According to the bible, which is the Word of God, there is only one definition for love and that is the one we call Agape. I believe that God cannot ask of you what he has not already put in you. Since he is our creator, He designed us to love like Christ did.

Over 60% of suicide bombers are men. A dedication to their faith unto death. It’s no wonder there is a song written that says, “when a man loves a woman.” Joseph the earthly father of Jesus Christ was a man like this. How many men would believe their spouse if they told them such a story? It took an angel and a soft heart for that marriage to stand. A heart that breaks for the things that touch God. Joseph was so committed to this woman that he genuinely loved her child to a point that he taught Jesus the family trade as was the tradition of Jewish men to teach their eldest sons. Jesus was known in his home area as the son of the carpenter.

The bible says, “Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” I have heard people say that “I will only submit to him when starts behaving like a king”, not knowing that his position as the head of the home is not by works but by appointment. Submission is not done because the man is deserving but as a command by, He who created you. Our assignment whether to love or to submit is not based on each other but a response to the Love that was shown on the cross for you and me.

Sarah called Abraham her Lord way before Paul wrote about women submitting to their own husbands. Emphasis on their own husbands not other people’s husbands especially men in power. Let me expound on this. Some women tend submit to their “spiritual fathers” and not submit to their husbands. The bible never asked women to submit to spiritual father or other men as unto the Lord, but this command was given regarding the husband.

Matt 19: 3-8 The proud religious law-keepers came to Jesus. They tried to trap Him by saying, “Does the Law say a man can divorce his wife for any reason?” He said to them, “Have you not read that He Who made them in the first place made them man and woman? It says, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will live with his wife. The two will become one.’ So they are no longer two but one. Let no man divide what God has put together.” The proud religious law-keepers said to Jesus, “Then why did the Law of Moses allow a them, “Because of your hard hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. It was not like that from the beginning.

The manufacturer’s intention of marriage was one where there was no divorce. What He mentions in the scripture above is a soft heart. A great spouse is one with a soft heart to forgive and show mercy. To empathise and love. No one is perfect but every spouse is perfectly imperfect for their own. Marriage is compared to Jesus and His bride the church, that is salvation. When will Jesus leave you? I ask the men. The answer is never. Women just as you Submit to your Lord Jesus Christ submit to your husbands.

I will end by a sermon I heard by Dr Myles Monroe. He said if a church member called him to pray for their dying relative and his wife called and asked him to come home and change a bulb. Guess what? He would go home to change the bulb. He would not cheat on his wife with someone else’s bride. The church is the bride of Christ.  With the guidance of the Holy Spirit we are being transformed daily into a great spouse.

God bless you.

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